Once Was Lost But Now Is Found

March 19, back from the trip when we lost each other, ended an almost 5 wonderful yrs of our relationship. I (archie) thought that "this is it and we're over". It was a peaceful break up though and we had no exchanging of harsh words.



On the very next day, i felt really broken and lost and somehow extreme loneliness came to me. Disturbed everytime i stay home, sleepless everytime i go to bed and even though taking sleeping or anti depressant pills would help me get some sleep, in the morning usually at 7am, flash backs of me n her or just her will come haunting me. I will always have those flashbacks in the morning and it always makes me wake up screaming " WILL U PLEASE GO AWAY" Or " PLS LET ME GET SOME SLEEP" and it makes me real moody throughout the day. It went on for 2 weeks and it really sucked so much that i just kept going out with frenz or somehow alone taking pictures wherever i went or hanging out with my dragonboat team doing everything to forget her. I party alot with my team, like going to beach parties, clubs, drinking at their place, i chill with my team at starbucks, shopping with my team.Pig Out with my team especially Olivia.Until it became my source of happiness. slowly i found out i'm moving on bit by bit but of course not completely.For me 2weeks seems long to get over her and on third week im just like -Whatever- although im still hoping that we be back again someday.I started clearing my room that has alot of mem'ries of us. Like picture frames with lots pics and whatever i had with her, i simply kept it away. I even had a deep cut cuz the pic was so stuck on the frame that it slipped and cut me.

I totally cut of conversations and have contact with her to a minimum. Maybe a lil' bit of hi and bye sometimes. Although i will not stop looking if she's or she's not online. I basically party ev'ry wednesday at CHIJMES Le Baroque. Just loving the new life i have. Met other ppl but still behaving myself n not getting into an attempt to get to know and fall inlove again. I thought i was enjoying myself so much that i never had a time to think i was hurt and recovering. I was all going with the flow. My routine everyday was like going home late drunk on wednesdays or fridays or saturdays or even sundays. My life went on n on n on until one day my dad made a decision for me n my sis to go back to manila and study there and i had shock. For a week, it was being discussed until my dad booked 2 tickets to manila on the 20th April. I told all my frens that i'm leaving and everyone was shocked to know. I told brenda that i be leaving and it felt like she asked for the sake of askin. One week later, She suddenly popped out from my msn and asked me when am i leaving.and i told her on Tuesday 20th April. I don't know if she was shocked or whatever but i didnt really give a meaning to it. I just told her, say bye for me to the kids and she asked "why don't I do it myself" i replied nicely sayin "im sorry but i dun think i have the time to do it because im busy and rushing packing my things." She asked me " don't i get a goodbye?" and i was like " hmm...what kind of goodbyes u want?" i was not so sure what she's trying to tell me and she went "nvm..." and logged out.

The next day, Monday, i went online and she was there again.i did not talk to her until she came chatting with me. I couldn't remember what was that we were talking about until the part when i invited her to come and help me pack. She said ok with out hesitation and after 30mins she arrived at my doorstep. I had panic attack roaming around the house looking for keys. Untill after 5mins i found it. She went to my room and we talked and talked until tears started to roll down her cheeks untill it got worst crying until she cant breathe. I told her take it easy and she said in tears, "5yrs is too long". i was like "huh?" i went like go-figure for a second until i asked her "do u still love me?' and she nodded and said yes. I never knew she had these feelings for me. I thought she completely moved on and so i did try. We talked on the phone on the night before i leave. Talked and there she went again crying. We talked for almost 4-5hrs till i told her, "hey u got to get some rest." u have school tomoro.i will call u wen i get to the airport and then we hung up.

Tuesday morning, 0730 i left for the Airport. Got my stuffs all packed and just ready to leave. I was still thinking of her on the way to the airport. I dunno if it got me affected. Im trying not to get her on my thoughts knowin that im leaving and may never see her again. In the airport, thoughts of staying for a lil while longer to spend time with her is fighting its way to my mind. I remember the words i asked her the night before my flight "If i have few days left in Singapore, would you spent more time with me?'' and she said "yes." Those thoughts bugged me for the whole hour i have left in the airport while on the que to check in my luggage with my sister.

I decided to call brenda to hear her voice and say my last good byes. Her phone rang and then she pick up the call and said hello. Hearing her voice made me sad but i tried to be strong and less emotional. Heard her sobbing and i just kept telling her to relax and chill cuz i myself dun wanna be sad. Saying my good bye for the last time and hung up and went back to my que. 3more passengers checking in their luggage and then pretty soon it will be my turn.
Suddenly i told my mom n sis that i'm not flying off. I made up mind nd decided to stay. I wanna stay because i wanna spend few days with her knowing that we're ok and fine. I lied to my mom saying the reason y i dun wanna leave is because of my work and i had few more things i had to face. After my sis left, i went back home with my luggage and went to office. I did not tell brenda that i did not leave. My itention was to go down to her school and surprise her...to be continued

Our 4th Year

On the 2nd Feb '09 is our 4th year and yes im so happy and we're both happy that we manage to set ourselves to step in our 4th year.

We celebrated our anniversary on 31st Jan, reason being is because 2nd Feb is on a weekday. So here's what we did

Preparation....

Brenda said she has a surprise for me, which i already knew wat it is after keeping me guessing for 2 days (her hint: i love it, it's sinful, she has never done it for me in the entire relationship). How i found out??hmmm on the night of 30th Jan, she brought me along to buy the things she needed to use for the surprise.She so damn sweet to do it for me.never expected that she'll do it for me.
Ok as for me, i was suppose to reserve us a table at a restaurant like few days earlier but of course i have to see the places before i make the reservation. So on the 31st Jan, i went down to one fullerton at 1pm before i go for dragonboat training at 3pm to look for a suitable place to celebrate and eat. So i passed by JING a chinese restaurant. Thought it would be nice but after seeing the menu, i was like... HUH?how do i eat this and this and this and so on...the food is so oriental i might say.It's classy though but of course i got to consult brenda and told her about it...and so then i moved on again, i went to Palm Beach Restaurant, i took a peep at the menu and to my surprise it's the same as the previous one. Seem so contemporary but still it's oriental. Ok so i moved on again, there's Gelare and starbucks which FYI i didn't bother to stop and look...So I went to walk further until i saw a nice place under the bridge. The Tapas a spanish restaurant. i looked at the menu and immediately and reserved a table for 2 at 7 - 730pm and i ordered the main course because it takes an hour to cook the main course and from there i left for dragonboat training...

After training...

I quickly took shower changed to my black n white long sleeves, jeans and my black converse canvas shoes and my hair is so ugly that i had to wear cap. I was so in a rush dat's y i didnt get to style up my hair...So then i met my baby brenda at City Hall.She was so beautiful and always will be looking like a princess with her light and nicely done make up. She made me fall for her once again although im always inlove with her.She was wearing a flora top with jeans and fortunately not wearing high heels. We headed to Tapas, and we started our night. We had Beef Paellas which is done so nicely, the nice smoked salmon salad (best salad i've ever had and chilled tomato sopas (soup) it's chilled and nice. We actually had a nice time together and a very peaceful dinner and also fun watching the bats flying on top of us. After the dinner, we went to walk around, seen the CHINGAY passed by us and off we go to our next location and that is.(to be continued)....

Saved By The Bell

Recently, Brenda and i were in a very rocky situation. Where everything changed between the 2 of us with just a snap of a finger. It was really something that i came unprepared for. It was 10days of heartache, hurt, sadness and sleepless nights with not getting to eat properly and losing body size continuosly that came upon me. I knew there was something wrong and of course the more i ask her about it the more she wants to leave me. I do not have the slightest idea why it has to happen to us when everything seems almost perfect in the relationship.The thougths of "maybe it was an almost perfect relation" we had that nearly lead to a breakup or maybe "i was too good, that our relationship has got her bored..."It was really shattering and then one day i got up and told myself if i am to accept that wat she wants, then i have to be strong. I started my day with a real good killing gym work out and then after i came to see brenda. I admit the moment i saw her, my heart sunk in deeper and thinkin to just try and over come wat is gonna happen.We hugged and Kiss normally but im still trying to be strong. After a little while we talked as in real serious talk about wat is gonna happen to us. So i came up with 2 things, either we really go to our seperate ways or just give our relationship another chance. I told her if wat she really wants is to move on, then let me know on the spot and i will leave right away. It's more like a heavy metal ball being thrown right at my chest with a heavy blow because of wat i had just told her. And the other one is if we are to give this a chance then why not we continue to go on and be together. I told her i do not want to wait for another day for an answer but i want answer right on the spot because i beleived that i had been fair and for the fact that i was trashed for 10days and im the only fool to hold on to it despite of blows after blows on the straight 10days.

After that 10days, everything went back to normal until now. We are back together and i believe that we will still go on strong in each other's arms.We are stepping into our 4th year on feb 2 2009 and planning for phuket trip and more trips to come...I am thankfull to the people that helped us with care and concern to clear our minds and get back on track peacefully. Guys if u are reading this FROM THE DEEPEST BOTTOM OF MY HEART, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. AND AS FOR YOU MY BABY THANK YOU ONCE AGAIN.


I will Love you always
Archie

It's been too long but still loving

It has been 16months since i updated this blog. Nothing bad happened of course. Still in a period of getting to know each other and not just stopping knowing what we really want to find out from one another. The most simplest thing we found out in order to keep relationship running this long is '' SEX is not what brings us closer or we dont have to have sex in this wonderful relation '' Brrenda & I found out that those we know who are in relationship that normally think Love = Sex, they don't stay long.

We never change except for the fact that we also have ups and downs. Nevertheless we overcome situations like i'm too busy at work and i dun get to contact her the wholeday not even a simple message on her mobilephone. We fix problem so it won't grow or lead to few days witout contacting each other.

For what i think this relationship rocks very year and we just keep loving it. we are going to be in our 4th year in 2 months. and many more years to come.

Feelings For You

Hi there sweetheart!!! i've got nothin to do so i decided to write to you. It's 5am in the morning & you must b sleeping like a baby boy right now.

Baby in this whole relationship we have for 3yrs, for once i never had regrets from the day (Feb 2, 05) that i said YES to you despite you were just a tryout. I hope i will b saying this in 5yrs time when i say 'YES' or 'I Do' hehe!!!

I treasure you & us very much baby.You are different, you make me feel different too.

I miss your touch , your skin, your scent, your presence everyday when you're by my side 24/7! i do not know why i crave for you so so much.

I hope you're really the one for me & you won't let me down. I trust that you can make me happy baby cause i'm really happy being with you Sharing & Loving with you. All the good & bad that we've been through has made us stronger & closer baby. You are my true fren baby.don't you even betray me! You have been the best & Greatest person that ever happened to my life! I Love You Baby! Truely

Lots of Love Hugs & Kisses,

brenda

LONG TIME

It's been such a long time since i updated my simple blog and still,
my princess n i still on the right track.im thankful we're still goin on strong.
if der's anything in the world dat can make us even happier, that will be n ever will be
US.

Alone Till She Comes Back

Alone till she comes back from holiday in Thailand with her cousins n aunt. i Sent her off to the Airport today in the afternoon.her flight was at 1735hrs...not use not havin her around cuz i grew up wit her.evryday of my life she's der wit me.
Now dat she's on holiday,she's not der to talk to before i go to slp.i can only go to a full slp whenever i talk to her.well anyways i promised her dat i b good which obviously i will.i miss her so much n im gonna be so bored without you my princess.i love you so so much baby. i'll wait for ur return

yours truly, Prince Archie.